wake

my lovely japanese teacher lost her husband last week and we went to his wake in kitaku. I don't think it's particularly different to a celtic wake where everybody drinks all night and considers that the deceased is going somewhere better. surely the key though, is striking a balance between fun subjects and solomn ones in conversation, although these situations are hard enough in english, nevermind japanese. there were flowers galore - each with a timber plate hanging underneath bearing the names of the givers. in the presbyterian church of scotland we never saw the dead so it was a little unusual for me to attend this 'viewing'. I think, though, that it's a healthy part of the process - I was surprised that the daughter had done the make-up (a nurse was present) but she'd made a very good job. people came and went and eventually we had to go - it shouldn't have come as a surprise that even at a funeral in japan you are given a gift - we came home with some tea to drink and a sachet of salt to ward off any bad spirits. a little embarrasing given we had forgotten the obligatory koden bukuro or money envelope for the family.

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